You're supposed to be dead!
by Violet-Teen-Girl
Summary: This is a rewrite of OSOT. Starts out from a different ending of OGSY. In the tombs, Cammie thought Zach died in the tombs. She sulked in her room, never comng out. She was heart-broken. But the Circle hadn't finished plotting Cammie's death yet. And, Zach didn't die, he's just deep under cover. What happens when they first meet under weird circumstances?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my first fanfic, and I would love to know how it turned out! Comments please! Tell me what you think! **

**Disclaimer: All the characters belonged to Ally Carter, I only own the idea. And I won't place this in every chapter. **

**Enjoy!**

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~~~Cammie Morgan~~~

I feel numb. Like there's a big loophole in my life. I felt lost, I felt lonely. I know I have my friends, but it's just not the same without Zach around.

The fact that he died to save me just make me guiltier. Like there's guilt eating out of my chest. I didn't deserve it, neither did he.

His body was never found. They say it might be burned to ashes, or he might have jumped into the raging waters, but no one came to save him, unlike me. I started to cry. Tears wrenched my body as I curled into a ball.

My heart wrenched as guilt consumes me. It's like a dagger being stabbed into my heart. Every time I think about him, my heart hurts, like physically hurts. I try not to, but everything here reminded me so much of him. The hallways, the dining hall, my room, everything. Even the secret passageways. It hurts, it really did.

At this moment, I was curled up in my room. My mom offered me this room when I told my mom I don't want to go to Nebraska. It would just endanger my grandparents, and I don't think they would like the sight of me sulking and crying in my room all day. But I couldn't help it, it just comes.

I had been like this for a long time now. Ever since that fateful day in the tombs. Where he died. I hoped and hoped that he got out of it, but he didn't. I eventually gave up. I remembered my mother's words, 'No! Don't let yourself hope.' She said the word hope in a whisper. I know well, hope can sometimes destroy a person. Even a spy.

According to schedule, Bex, Liz and Macey would come in three weeks later. Then, I would finally have some company. Although I would love to sit around and sulk, I know I have to get on with my life sooner or later.

I dedicated today to sulking. Originally, I would try and do some research, but some days, I would love to just grieve. With no stress. Just sorrow. It hurts, it really does. But I guess it's worth it for someone you love.

Sobs attacked my body as I cried. I was crying like I never wanted to stop. When I cried, it's like the weight lifted off me a little bit, and I liked it better. I feel more content. Like I deserved sorrow. And I know I do.

The Circle of Cavan wants me, and they would hurt everyone who gets in the way. Even her own son. I shivered as I remembered the tombs. Where he died. Another sob escaped me as I hugged my knees, crying.

I don't think anyone's here. My mother visits sometimes, but that's just that. I like being by myself sometimes, It's better this way, enjoying the freedom, knowing that no one would ask you how you're doing. And that is the very question I'm avoiding.

I tried to close my eyes. I saw the tombs again. I saw the fight again. I saw him, fighting people off him, struggling to go to Mr. Soloman's aid. Then, he fighting back, and point the trigger at the explosives. I screamed loudly as a sob escaped me.

I ran as the smoke engulf me. They didn't, and I ran like no tomorrow. In fact there wasn't. I was never the same Cammie again.

I did turn around once, and I saw Catherine Goode hot on my heels, and a boy lighted up in flames. That was him.

As I saw him go up in flames, I entirely and completely broke down into hysterics for the 628 time since summer. I missed him a lot. I wish he could come back, but he didn't. And I didn't allow myself hope. I know it's impossible for a boy to survive being lighted up in flames.

I really hoped he died fast. That way he won't be in for much agony. I could only hope that he wasn't destroyed. But I guess he was. He was going through agony, being blown up to bits, while I was running away for my life. I know I'm following his orders, but I feel like I'm selfish. I feel like I'm lucky, yes, but I'm too selfish, I only ran for my own life. I didn't save him, and I regretted it a lot.

Tears spilled out of my eyes as I blinked. Tears rolled down my eyes, forming a pool on the floor. I hate the world right now, I hate the Circle, I hate Catherine Goode! She's the one who killed him, and I hate her for that.

I finally understood what it feels to lose a love. It's agonising, with everything losing its meaning. It seems like the whole world stopped spinning, and everything lost its appeal. And I was like that. Except he didn't break up with me, he died saving me.

I cried again, collapsing against the floor. I don't know how long time had passed. I just know that I cried until my tears dried, until no more tears could spill out of me. Then, I washed up, and went to dinner.

I walked into the dining hall. My mother hired a cook to cook for me, so he's cooking for me, which is a good thing. I'm not in a mood for cooking.

I walked into the dining hall, seeing the food already positioned on the table. I sat at the table, my eyes watering. When the Gallagher Academy did the exchange with Blackthorn, this is exactly where he sits. I cried again. I choked on the food as I spit it out. I saw it being dipped into something. I inspected it, and found that it had been dipped in drugs. I could be unconscious in ten minutes with this drug.

Then, my spy instincts took place. I'm glad for that. I had been in depressed mood for too long, being in spy mode took off my sorrow a little bit, but it kept coming back twice as hard.

I took away the apple, and pretended that I had eaten it long ago. I faced the door, looking at the reflective surface on the glass. Then, the cook peeked out. He looked a little out of place. He tiptoed to me, afraid I would attack. And I did.

I lashed out, kicking him. Then, I punched his head as he fell. Unconscious.

'Mm, not bad for a girl who lost her love, is it?' I heard the most dreaded voice in the whole universe. I lashed out.

I kicked her loads of times, only to have her defect it easily. I grew more frustrated by the minute. I growled. Then, I felt drowsiness hit me as I fell against the floor hard.

The last thing I saw was Catherine Goode, smirking that heart-wrenching smirk Zach used to do, and hissed, 'Not so tough now, Cammie.' Then, I faded out of conscious.

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**Tell me that you think! Do you guys have any ideas?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Enjoy!**

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~~~Cammie Morgan~~~

I woke up in a white room. I saw white. Everything's white. I hear silence. I heard that continuous silence is a kind of torture. Especially now Catherine Goode used her son's death against me, leaving me grieve from her son's death when she planned out my death. Well, that's ironic.

I vowed not to give her the satisfaction. I sat down, and drew circles. I drew 1000 circles, and started counting circles from one again. My mind wandering to a lot of things.

I wonder when my mom would discover I'm missing. She phoned me every day to make sure I'm still alive. This time, I'm captured, so I guess she would know soon. Help would come, I guess.

What time is it? I checked my watch. It's been two days since I passed out. Mm, my mother is looking for me now.

Pity I didn't wear the spy watch that could contact people, I wasn't in the mood to before, I just wanted to sulk like a normal girl.

I sighed. I tried to stand up and walk to the doors, see if it was unlocked. But when I tried to stand up, my legs gave way. It was then I saw bruises on my leg, I guess they beat me up then.

I crawled to the white door, my legs hurting a whole lot, my heart beating. I banged at the door, but it wouldn't budge. Suddenly, as if someone provoked me, I strike, banging at the door, kicking it, but it still didn't budge.

I sank down onto the floor. I sucked in a breath as reality hits me. I am in a cell, locked up, and it's impossible to escape.

Distantly, I hear footsteps accelerating. I craned my neck, to hear whose coming. Then, the door banged open. Catherine Goode.

I hate her. She took Zach away from me, she captured me, and now she'll be responsible for my death.

'Information, Cammie?' Catherine asked me as I shook my head. 'What do you want?' I asked, taunting her. This is my chance to know the answers before I die.

'I want the list of Circle members.' Catherine said as I shook my head. 'No, I don't know.' Catherine Goode's sickly sweet voice filled my ears.

'Well then, Cammie, you know what's up for you.' She said. Yes, I know, alright. Torture.

She snapped her fingers. A guard came forth. 'Yes?' The guard asked her. 'Beat her up till I come in and tell you to stop. Or until she talks.' Then she turned on her heels and left.

The guard took a big metal stick, with nine ends, and started hitting me. The first hit is horrible, I could feel blood trickling down my spine. Shivering, I clenched my teeth, trying to avoid crying out.

The beatings kept coming, as I felt the pain intensify a lot. It hurts a lot.

It was a while before I started feeling dizzy. Yes, Cammie. I told myself. Just die already. Why do I have to be so tough? I asked myself as I sank into the unconscious.

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**Sorry, I know this is a short chapter, I don't have much time. They would meet soon enough. Comments please... Tell me what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoy!**

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~~~Cammie Morgan~~~

I felt pain intensifying every second. I felt my bone breaking, my ribs breaking. But I couldn't cry out, I was deep under a hole, but I couldn't climb out.

Then, I heard a distant voice. 'Stop, that's enough.' That someone barked till I became aware of nothing.

I sank into nothingness for a long time. Then, I gradually woke up. I saw the white room again, with no one in it. I was glad. For if someone was here, it would mean more torture. I gasped for breath.

I could feel that my breath was hoarse, my breathing was shallow. I crawled towards a wall, hoping to lean against it. I could still feel the pain.

Scenes of my life flashed before me. Is this what it felt when I die?

I see that day in the tombs. The day Zach died. I see him being lighted on fire. I hear him yelling, all the way to my ears. I tried blocking it out, but I couldn't. It's too gratifying, too painful to watch and hear. It hurts, a lot. My chest hurts, like someone stabbed a dagger into my heart.

Suddenly, I jolted. My mother should be here by now. Maybe she was captured too… this realisation sent chills to my heart.

I hear the footsteps again. Accelerating. Five sets of footsteps. I trembled. They're here to torture me again. I have never wanted to be invisible more than now. To disappear, like my codename Chameleon, but I know I can't. I'm their target, and they're coming for me now.

The door swung open. The most dreaded face on the Earth walked in. Catherine Goode again. I think the guards waited outside, again.

'Cammie, nice to see your eyes again. You have been unconscious for, like a day? Anyway, I came to ask for information. And I have a nice video for you to see. Anyway, I want the list.' Catherine used a commanding tone, but I won't give in to it.

'No.' I answered her firmly, shaking my head. It still hurts, but I'm going to prove to her that she doesn't own me.

'Are you sure, Cammie? Cause I can tell you, it's very sad, and I would rather not watch it again. So, information, Cammie?' I shook my head. 'I don't know what list, I don't know where it is!' I yelled. 'Let me go!'

'Cammie, dear, you never give up, do you? ' Catherine taunted as I set a determined expression on my face. 'You should know by now that we Morgans are tough.' I said, proud for once. She shook her head. 'Unfortunately, you have to suffer. Now, guards!' She barked.

Four guards came in. I didn't look at their faces, I know I'll be seeing a lot of them later on. Catherine barked orders again. 'Now, you will take turns to torture her in any form possible. Each gets 10 minutes. Then, stay till she woke up, then another one go in. There are four of you, first, second, third, fourth.' She named them off. 'Now start torturing. And keep her watching this. If she turned away, beat her up double hard and force open her eyes.'

The rest of the guards went away as the first guard came forth, his look menacing and evil. 'Now, Cammie isn't it?' He asked, placing an evil smile on his face.

I think he saw me eyeing the door, as he started towards the door, took a key from his pocket, told the guards to shoo until he called them, and locked the door. I see that the door is soundproof. No one would be able to hear my screams from here. Except the one who's in here with me, of course. And I think he would enjoy it.

He opened the TV, and inserted a tape in there. 'Now, I guess I won't disobey the leader's orders, will I? Since it would upset you even more, she said. And I think she's right.' He grinned, and I wanted to pound his head in.

'Now, you would open your eyes while I beat you. Or, I would beat you double hard. I would force open your eyes too.' He threatened. I grinned. 'Make me.' He laughed.

'Oh, pity you didn't know.' He stood up, and took something off the table. I shivered. It was a pair of glasses, but they're not normal. They force open your eyes in that direction. No! I wonder who they are making me watch.

'Oh Cammie, I wonder who that is in the video who Catherine said would make you cry and whimper. Not so tough now, are you?' He taunted. Then he pressed 'Play'. And I gasped. And whimpered. I felt pain on my arms. I don't care. I felt my skin making contact with a rough surface, blood trickling down, but I don't care. I felt a numbing pain, but I don't care. I only know that my heart was stabbed again, like a dagger.

The nightmare reviewed itself. That day in the tombs. I saw Catherine threatening Joe Soloman. I saw Joe Soloman pointing a gun at the sigh 'Explosives'. Then, Catherine video-taped everything in slow motion.

I saw Zach and me reviewing ourselves. My heart automatically lurched. Then, he stopped the video.

'Now, I guess I'll remain some juicy ones for the next one in line. I'll focus on the beating.' He beated me up again, as I clenched my jaw, trying not to make a sound. Then, to my relief, he announced, 'Ten minutes up, see you later, Cammie.' He spat my name out like it's venom. Like it's some disease or something.

The next one came in. 'Now, Cassie,' I interrupted, 'It's Cammie.' He said, 'Fine, now Kendall just now told me he remained the juicy parts of the video for me, which I'm very grateful for. Now, let's begin.' He pressed 'Play' again, and my nightmare starts itself, again.

I saw Zach charging in. I see me jumping upwards, disarming a few guards. Then, I see Catherine stroke Zach's face. I felt vomit welled up in me as I swallowed. I felt sick.

'Not so tough now, are you, Cassie.' He taunted. I didn't give a response, making no move to talk.

Then, I saw Catherine slamming into the person aiming at Zach. I see him shoot at the box 'Explosives'. I see a boy lighting up in flames as Catherine ran after me. Then the video ended.

I discovered that I was covered in sweat. I was streaked with tears and sobs. The guard laughed. 'Now, you would get beaten.'

I felt pain as he attacked my body. The previous wounds opened up again as I debated whether to scream. I guess not.

Then, luckily, I hear a yell. 'Ten minutes up!' Then, he laughed. 'Next time, Cassie.' I didn't correct him this time, I'm too drained of energy.

A young man walked in. 'Cassie, right? I heard that guy call you that name.' I still couldn't find the energy to answer him. I observed his figure. Something about it draws me to it.

He had board shoulders. He had a surly figure, and he had green eyes. My eyes welled up with tears. He looked so much like Zach. He reminds me of him.

He grinned, but I could tell he forced it. Then, he gazed into my eyes. I saw his hard face soften. Bit by nit, like he's contemplating whether to torture me or help me. I simply looked at him. I saw sorrow in his eyes as he turned around. I heard a few sniffs. I remained as emotionless as possible. I mean, he's dangerous, I think, being the guard. Then, I heard he said, 'Why did we catch you?'

I told him. 'Because I am an enemy of the Circle.' He turned to face me and grinned then. But I still see sadness there.

He took out a key. He whispered. 'Pretend to scream.' I get the idea that he is going to help me, so I did, even if it hurts to do so. I felt like I could trust him, though I don't know the reason why.

He opened a trapdoor that I had never noticed before. Then he ushered me down. 'It leads to a mall.' He whispered to me.

I felt perplexed. 'Why did you help me?' I asked. He smiled a little bit.

'Because you reminded me of someone I used to love.' I see sadness in his voice, but I could tell that person makes him happy.

'Thanks.' I said, as I disappeared down the passageway.

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**I didn't feel satisfied, since the last one is so short.**

**So they meet again. But they didn't know it's each other. Also, Cammie escaped. Now, please give me some reviews! I want some ideas!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, I'm a bit busy these days, but I updated! Now, I want some reviews!**

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~~~Cammie Morgan~~~

It was then that I finally escaped the headquarters. As that guy said, I found myself in a mall. I found the location, and found my way back to Gallagher. I saw my mom, tears streaming down her face.

'Cammie! Where have you been? Oh, right, you were caught by the Circle… How did you escape?' My mom kept babbling and I shrugged. I was still dazed by why that guy let me go. I still felt a little confused, why I feel safe, why he gave me a sense of safety. But it doesn't matter now. I got out, didn't I?

'Mom, it's okay. A guy helped me out.' My mother's eyes narrowed. She is demanding me to explain. Just then, Bex, Macey and Liz rushed in.

'Why're you guys here? I thought you guys would be away for two months!' I exclaimed, while engaging in a four-way hug. They nearly choked me, and I gagged.

'What do you expect us to do? Sunbath in the sun while our best friend was caught and tortured by the Circle?' Macey said as I laughed. She's still a little cocky, being the senator's daughter.

'Okay now, spill.' Bex said, impatient already.

'Mm,' When it comes to this, I really don't know how I should feel about him. There's a sense of security and content in him, but then he's a member of the Circle. But still he helped me out. I decided my feelings will remain neutral for now.

'Well, there's a guy…' Macey's eyes brighten in an instance. I had a feeling she's going to bombard me with questions, so I automatically step back, in hopes of avoiding them, but I know it never works.

'He helped me out.' Mom's eyes seem to brighten. Yes, I know what that means. One more guy on our side, undercover in the Circle. It means the world to us, to me.

'What's his name?' My mom asked. I shrugged. 'Not really.' The light in her eyes went out. 'Well… You know, usually our agents have a code.'

Maybe he's not an agent then. Maybe it's just like he said, I remind him of someone he used to love. Maybe he's a traitor to the Circle.

That thought brought tears to my eyes again. That familiar pang in the stomach. He reminded me so much of him.

Is this how mourning over a person's like? Everything around you reminds you of him, and somehow you have to pick up the pieces which are called your life and get on with it? If it is, then I want out. But I know it's not possible. Not in my case anyway. I have to fight back, defeat them, for my friends, for Mr. Soloman, for my mother, for my father. For him.

'Tell me the whole story.' My mother demanded. I could tell she was worried, and she could see it in my eyes that I feel okay with talking about it. And I am okay with talking about it.

'So…' I cleared my throat. Macey, Bex, Liz and my mother all crowded in to listen.

I woke up in the interrogation room, and I saw Catherine Goode.' I grind out her name, grinding my teeth together to keep from lashing out. 'She asked me for a list of some sort, but I really don't know what it is. Then, when she made sure I won't tell, she commanded a few guard to torture me. They took turns beating me.'

I shuddered. Then I continued. 'Then the boy came in. He came in, looking forced. When the door was shut, he looked at me. Into my eyes.'

I took a deep breath. It was like I was back in the room. I was looking into his green eyes, so alike to him. It practically screamed 'Zach' to me. It was hard for me, really.

I felt tears prickling behind my eyelids. But I held them back. I continued, with a shaky voice. 'His eyes soften, and he told me to scream. So the others won't suspect. Then he pulled open a trapdoor, and told me it leads to a mall. So here I am.'

When I ended, my voice broke. He just reminded me so much of Zach. So much.

Then, I felt a lot of people hugging me at once. I think it's somehow of a five-way-hug, if it even is possible. I felt better, but without him it isn't perfect. I know I need to get over it soon, but I don't want to forget him. He deserved it.

After the hug, my mother smiled. 'It's great to have you back, Cammie. And don't worry about the guy. If he's on our side, you'll recognise him soon enough.' Then she left.

Her heels clipped against the floor. Then, my friends sprang into action. 'Cammie! Come on, let's head back to our dorm.' Liz said. 'Yeah, sure.' I said, as I went up.

I barely made it up the room while I hear my mother yelling my name. 'Cammie!' I rushed back down, and nearly crashed into my mother. Which is an un-spy thing to do, but I could care less right now.

'Cammie, try to identify which one of the agents is the one who rescued you. You know, it's hard to know if they had turned.' Her lips were pursed into a thin line.

I know exactly what she means. An agent could go all the way undercover in the Circle. Sometimes, the agent could be a double agent too. You never know which side the agent is on. So you have to be extra cautious.

I followed her into her office. She gave me a file on the computer. Try to recognize them, okay?' She ruffled my hair and patted my head. 'I know it's hard for you, dear, but it's for your own good.' I nodded. I know.

I browsed the files. It's easy. Just look for one similar to him. I looked and looked. For one who had green eyes. Had the same board shoulders. Had the same face shape. But none.

I tried imagining the possibility of him wearing some contacts or having a face surgery. My mind starts to override with possibilities, but in the end I rule them all out. It's just not possible to change all those things at once. Joe Soloman couldn't do it. My father couldn't do it. Mr. Smith couldn't do it either. No one I know could pull this off, so I gave up.

I walked to my mother's room, and knocked on the door. She was at the door in an instant. 'Mom, I don't think any of them suits that guy.' Her wrinkles deepened, frowning. Not that she has any. 'Are you sure?'

'I'm 99.9% sure.' Being a spy, you can never be sure about that 0.1%.

'Okay…' She answered with an uncertain voice. 'Come in, Cammie.' She opened the door wider, letting me in. She patted her bed, motioning me to sit with her.

'Can you describe him, Cammie?' She asked. 'You know, it's weird for a person in the circle who is not our agent helping you.'

I understand. It's weird, yes. But I couldn't say it. That single thought still brought tears to my eyes. My vision became blurry. Tears fell on my cheeks, on my mother's bed.

Despite my tears, I could still see my mother's eyes. In shock and confusion. She deserves an explanation.

'Zach.' I managed to croak out. 'He looked like Zach.'

Then, I melted in front of my mother, on her cozy bed, curled into a ball, broke down and cried.

A lot of normal girls would think that breaking down and crying in front of their mothers is super embarrassing. But I'm not one of them.

Normal is overrated. For me, normal will never be. Normal girl's boyfriends won't die in a suicide mission for me. But spy girls would.

I felt my mother's hands drawing circles on my back. She soothed me, as I cried and cried for hours. Well, it felt like hours anyway.

The video came back to me. How Zach looked when he went up in flames. I heard a distinct scream. I guess it's him.

Sorrow plunged through my heart, as I cried. Seeing the video again, it triggered a lot of emotions in me. Those which took me a long time to get over. It took me a long time to quit crying every minute of the day. And it came again.

His face came as clear as crystal. It pained me too much, I closed my eyes, and cried myself out.

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**Okay. Here it is. Enjoy it? Tell me what you think of the story please? Please give me some reviews please? Thanks!**


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